One thing should be said upfront, desperation will not convince your ex-boyfriend to get back to you. Being needy will serve only to push him away. Instead, the task is to toughen up and take the steps necessary to get back what you have lost. It will be hard work, and you will have to make some sacrifices, but it will bring you and your ex together with a much stronger bond.
The first thing is to avoid calling your ex-boyfriend to get back with him until you’ve had time to think things through. Communicating while you are emotionally distraught will only serve to put a strain on what few bonds remain between you and your ex-boyfriend. Instead, take the time to reflect and figure out why your relationship turned out the way it did.
This process is all about identifying your needs and wants. This self-reflection will enable you to find yourself. Once you have done this, you should forgive your ex-boyfriend for any past wrongs. Without doing so, the grudge you carry will prevent your ex-boyfriend from getting back to a mental place where you two can work things out.
During self-reflection, you may find that you are clingy and possessive. This can be hard to defeat, but the two of you need independence to develop self-reliance. This separation will cause the bond between you to grow and become stronger. The way to get your ex-boyfriend to get back to you is to start assessing the little things that cause stress to both of you. This will be a slow process, but it will be things that allow you to start showing that you care about action.
Think of the favorites between you two: places, drinks, foods, events, all of the things you shared a common fondness over. Let him know that you were thinking of him when you experienced the favorite. To push your ex-boyfriend to get back to you, you must be yourself. If you lie to yourself and pretend to be someone you’re not, you are only adding stress to an already stressed situation.
Here is the rub: if your ex-boyfriend is currently seeing someone else, back off. You will only end up hurting yourself. Instead, you should wait to see if your ex-boyfriend, to get back to you, calls you. If he doesn’t contact you, then you should realize that it is unlikely he will, and the only thing that will happen is more heartbreak.
Overall, it takes hard work to win your ex back. You need to identify the problems and do what you can to fix them without being untrue to yourself. The way to get your ex-boyfriend to get back with you is through self-growth and forgiveness, not neediness and vengeance.
